Writing Packet

 
1. Trader Woes
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Whenever the stock market crashes, photos of sad-looking brokers appear on the Internet. Why do we attribute their depression only to the money markets? We ask the brokers to reveal what thoughts really went through their heads when the photos were snapped.
2. Those Advertising Bastards
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In these tough times, it seems like everything is for sale. Advertising agencies are now using great works of art to hock their terrible merchandise. We track their progress.

Advertisers Destroy:
3. Reject Pile
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It’s hard to imagine that the band Smash Mouth can release anything other than hits, but even creative geniuses sometimes miss the mark. We’ve asked artists and companies to provide us with a list of those items that didn’t quite make the cut.
4. Expert Advice
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It’s fairly obvious that you don’t know what you’re doing. Luckily, we’ve asked experts in every field to proffer advice that can help you sail through life. You’re welcome.
5. Post Cards
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We’ve collected post cards from cities across America. Find one from your hometown and feel slightly less depressed about your life.
6. Ask Historical Figures
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Historical figures are revered for their problem-solving abilities, but could their advice help today’s young people? To find the answer, we’ve taken questions from the Q &A sections of leading women’s magazines and asked them to our resident historical figure.
7. For More on This Story
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8. Problem Solvers
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Lawmakers and executioners let complexities prevent them from making decisions. Luckily for you, we provide simple solutions to big problems.
9. Adult Entertainment
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Sesame Street producers released a deleted scene in which Snuffleupagus reveals that his parents are separating. The producers ultimately chose not to air the footage after children in the test audience were devastated to learn of something so “adult.” After some research, we uncovered secrets of other popular fictional characters that were deemed "too adult" for children's programming. Enjoy.
10. Movie "Twist" Endings
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There are no twist endings in life – you die and get thrown in the ground. Luckily, we have Hollywood. These days, films are tacking on twist endings to surprise and shock audiences. We think more traditional blockbusters could benefit from the twist ending treatment.
12. Déjà vu
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Sometimes a picture can trigger memories of love, friendship, and heartache. Other times, stuff just looks like other stuff. Either way, here are things that remind us of other things.
13. Punk’d 2.0
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It’s hilarious when wealthy celebrities play pranks on other wealthy celebrities, but what happens when celebrities play pranks on average Americans?
14. Versus
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The person who said winning isn't everything must not have won anything. We pit two things against each other to see who or what emerges victorious
15. Movie Taglines
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Taglines aren’t just the witty things you say to old people as you push them down the stairs. They are also short plot synopses used by advertisers to generate buzz for new films. We’ve created some for the latest crop of releases.
16. Studio Notes
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It’s hard to believe that Cheers was originally set in a hotel or that anyone but Ernest Borgnine could play Joe Cleaver from 1978’s Cops and Robins, but in Hollywood these creative decisions are made behind-the scenes. Until now. We show you how movies would have been altered if directors had used different actors or locations.
17. Cliffnotes
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We read new books and news articles and craft quizzes or provide examples to help you understand the contents and save you time. Careful, you might know less than you think.
18. Kids Ruin Everything
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According to movies and greeting cards, children teach us about the true meaning of happiness and success. In reality, though, kids don’t teach us anything because they’re too busy making us slower, poorer, and less successful. To prove our point, we saddle some of the greatest people, places and things with children from romantic comedies.
19. Beat This Caption!
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The guy who coined the phrase “A picture’s worth a 1,000 words” clearly forgot about those witty captions written beneath them. Prove your sense of humor (and worth) by submitting your hilarious captions for the photos we’ve provided.
20. Low Self-Esteem Jesus
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The Bible leaves out that Jesus was an insecure teenager just like the rest of us. What follows are the adventures of low self-esteem Jesus.
21. ConanBot
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Conan has a robotic proxy that can run his errands and accidentally decapitate pedestrians.
22. Celebrity Endorsements
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Whether it’s to raise awareness for an upcoming film or to pay off gambling debts, celebrities will often lend their image and credibility to products. We have received a list of upcoming endorsements from A-list celebs. Enjoy.
23. Monologue Jokes
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A safe and comfortable way to laugh at the latest tragedies in the world from the comfort of your home (or local strip club).
24. Actual Items
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We find advertisements from newspapers, circulars, and magazines that contain weird messages or typos and present them to you. So strange, you couldn’t make these up.