Rejected Video Games (and Cheat Codes)

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.

After the seeing the immensely satisfying video game documentary King of Kong on DVD, I started to wonder about the video games that didn't catch on. Turns out there are tons of them. Take a look at some that I found in the $5 bin at Best Buy.

1. A Civil Action - The Video Game

Premise: As lawyer Jan Schlichtmann, you must battle bureaucrats and large insurance companies to achieve justice for the families of sick children!
Cheat Code: X+O+UP = The judge grants you unlimited appeals.

2. Super Mario Brothers Pizzeria

Premise: As Luigi, you and Mario must secure a small business loan to open a pizzeria in an already saturated market. Let the price wars begin!
Cheat Code: L1+L2+O+O = Turns off gentrification.

3. Fat Camp Basketball

Premise: Pick a team from any of the nationally recognized fat camps to take all the way to the finals. Contains realistic gameplay in "real fat" time, which is significantly slower than for normal people. Use the special "coaching" feature to instantly substitute out-of-breath players with those recovering from cramps.
Cheat Code: R2+x = Drops sandwiches on or near opposing team to distract them -- while they eat falling sandwiches, your team can waddle to the other side and try to make baskets before giving up and eating Steak 'Ums stored in their gym shorts.

4. Welding Hero!

Premise: Ever wonder if you could weld as well as the people who built the Iron Pillar in India? Now's your chance. Choose from Gas, Energy Beam, or Resistance Welding!
Cheat Code: Down + Up + X + X = Instant coalescence

5. Street Fighter - Philadelphia edition

Premise: Dropkick the partners at Wheeler and Assoc. for discriminating against gay lawyer Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks). "When objections don't get the judges attention, there's always the leg sweeper."
Cheat Code: Left + Down+ Up + Down = Puts the judge in a sleeper hold before he can overrule your objection.

6. Cuba Gooding, Jr.: Agent-in-training.

Premise: Read the trades, choose movies in which Cuba can star, and beg casting agents to look at his tape. Comes with Cuba's phone number and schedule for auditions.
Cheat Code: L1 + L2 = Wipes out Boat Cruise, Snow Dogs and Daddy Day Camp from memories of Hollywood casting agents and directors.

7. U.S. Senate - The Video Game

Premise: Pass laws, conduct impeachment hearings, keep "pork" projects alive. The only video game officially sponsored by the United States Senate.
Special Features: Play as the Senate All-Stars including Strom Thurmond
Cheat Code: L2 + X = Turns off filibustering, quorum requirement