Celebrity Endorsements # 1

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Celebrities, they're just like us! Except they make millions of dollars lending their names to crappy products. We found out how some of your favorite public figures can afford their coke habits. Put down your US Weekly and check this out:

(Show mock-ups of products)
# 1.

Product: John Roberts Lunch Box
Tagline: "I think we all can agree that the Constitution prohibits gay marriage, but encourages healthy lunches!"

# 2.

Product: Trapper Keeper featuring Ernest Borgnine
Tagline: "It's me, Joe Cleaver, from Cops and Robins saying, 'Always check for athlete's foot!'"

# 3.

Product: Condoleezza Rice Scissors
Tagline: "Perfect for cutting up paper dolls and subpoenas!"

# 4.

Product: Batman Colostemy Bag
Tagline: "Fight crime... from the ICU!"

# 5.

Product: Jesus & Nacho Cheese Cheez-Its
Tagline: "The Body of Christ just got nacho cheesier!"

# 6.

Product: Spiderman & KY Warming Liquid
Tagline: "My Spidey senses are tingling... and so are my genitals!"

# 7.

Product: Ghandi & Morton's Iodized Salt
Tagline: "If the salt in India were this tasty, I would have gladly paid the salt tax!"

# 8.

Product: Hamburger Helper Hand & Gyncecology Chair
Tagline: "I'm here to help spread the fun... and your legs!"