How to Ace an Interview

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Conan: In this tough economy, your behavior in an interview can make all the difference. Luckily, recruiter and interview expert Fred Hyler has provided interview secrets that will inspire managers to overlook your glaucoma and give you that bus driver job.

(Fred Hyler, interview expert, will enter the stage)

Fred Hyler: Conan, according to a recent article on, another "expert" from careerbuilder advised people to avoid asking about vacation time during the interview.  That's good advice.  I have some more. Here are some things not to say/do in an interview:

1. Play air guitar

2. Attempt to arm wrestle the interviewer after he asks, "What are your strengths?"

3. Quote (with voices) The Simpsons, Family Guy, Vagina Monologues

4. Just like in Austin Powers or any sitcom from the 1980's, claim the female receptionist is really a man. Then, try to remove her "fake" hair. Look perplexed when it can't be removed. Later in the interview, cite that as an example of one of your weaknesses.

5. Do push ups when asked why you would be an asset to the team

6. Hand the interviewer your cell phone and ask him to take a photo of you "at work"

7. Ask, "What time is it?" after she presses you for questions.

8. Re-enact the Sharon Stone leg-crossing scene from Basic Instinct.  Paste your resume to your crotch.

9. Sing your answers Broadway-style.

10. Blow air kisses as you leave. Make a sad face when he/she doesn't "catch" them.