Rejected Transformers

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter_boolean_operator.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 0.

I think we all can agree that no one likes virgins. They clog up the internet with chats about wizards, poke you in the head with their elaborate Chewbacca costumes on the bus and are usually at the helm of robot-building projects that will most likely cause the downfall of our civilization.

In light of the hoopla surrounding yet another Transformers sequel, a virgin favorite, We uncovered early drafts of the movie that contain transformers which were cut from the final version. Take a look.
 
# 1.


 
NAME: Windstorm


TRANSFORMS INTO:
Ceiling Fan

POWER:
Raises or lowers temperature 2 degrees within an hour.
CATCH PHRASE:
"You should have brought a sweater, Decepticons!"
 
# 2.
 
 
NAME
: ATMachine




TRANSFORMS INTO
: Coinstar Change Machine

POWER
: Easily converts loose change into bills and gift certificates for Autobots.
CATCH PHRASE: "Relax guys. We can use my Borders gift card to buy Ethan Frome!"

 
# 3.
 
 
 
NAME
: Auditory-um



TRANSFORMS INTO:
Discman that plays Sting CDs.

POWER
: Plays Sting CDs until the enemy (Decepticons/human race) begs for mercy.
CATCH PHRASE: "You will die in fields of gold."

 
 
# 4.



NAME: Ruxfile



TRANSFORMS INTO
: Talking Teddy Ruxpin doll

POWER
: Showers Decepticons with love, then takes it away without explanation. Decepticons are so distraught, they become a shell of former self.
CATCH PHRASE: "I don't know why, but it just doesn't feel right anymore."
 
 
# 5.

 
 NAME: E-Z Passmatron



TRANSFORMS INTO
: New Hampshire Toll Booth

POWER
: Foils Decepticons trying to cross state lines without pocket change.
CATCH PHRASE: "I can't put a price on justice, but it's $2.65 to cross this toll bridge."
 
 
 
# 7.



NAME: UHF



TRANSFORMS INTO
: 1945 RCA television that only plays ABC's failed sitcom Caveman, based on the Geico commercials.

POWER
: Can break Autobots spirits with tired cliches involving baby deliveries in elevators and simple misunderstandings regarding sexuality.
CATCH PHRASE: "I will send you back to the stone age... to laugh!"