Kids Ruin Interviews

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.

I went to visit my friend Greg, a first grade teacher at Winship Elementary in Burbank. I spent some time with Greg's students and tossed a few softball questions to them; I was surpried by their ignorance.


Conan: Animal Farm is an allegory of what?
Ben Johnston: What's an allegory?
Conan: It's a symbolic representation, in this case, it's in narrative form.
Ben Johnston: I'm feeling lightheaded. Have you seen my insulin?
Conan: Wrong. It's Soviet Totalitarianism.


: Who played Joe Cleaver from 1978's Cops and Robins?
Esther Dalston: I can't concentrate when you put me in a headlock. Can you please let me go?
Conan: Nope. Ernest Borginine.


Marcus Wellington
: I made a picture for you (holds up a picture of what looks like a flying, flaming toilet bowl) It's a space ship!
: Why is the door open?
Marcus Wellington
: So the astronauts can wave to us.
: Space is a total vacuum. The astronauts would be sucked out of the shuttle and without helmets their heads would explode. You just killed everyone with your flying toilet bowl.
Marcus Wellington
: Oh. (cries.)


: (pointing to diagram of the female body) Please point to the vulva.
Margot Markinson: (points to her elbow.)
Conan: That's right.