Episode # 1: The Makeover

(Low Self-Esteem Jesus enters.  He looks forlorn.)

Jesus: Hey guys (his head is down).

Conan: What's wrong, Jesus?

Jesus: Nothing.  Some kid stole my scriptures.  I deserved it.

Conan: Oh Jesus, you need to have more confidence.

Jesus: You're right, Conan.

Conan: How are things on the woman front?

Jesus: Not well.

Conan: But I see you with Mary Magdalene all the time.  Anything going on?

Jesus: No, she's put me in the friend zone.

Conan: Why don't you try being more of a challenge?

Jesus: Well, she knows I'm going to die for her sins -- it kind of wipes out challenge.

Conan: Yeah.  Well, it sounds like you could use a makeover.  Get some good clothes, a decent haircut and soon girls will see the real you.  We're sending you to a salon.

(Jesus Leaves.)

Later in the show:

Conan: And now to introduce the new and improved Jesus!

(Jesus enters.  His hair is trimmed.  He's wearing designer clothes and he is beaming with confidence.  Mary Magdalene enters.)

Conan: Mary, what do you think of Jesus now?  He's King of the Jews!

Jesus: Mary?

(Mary runs to a stagehand wearing a leather jacket and makes out with him.  Jesus is dejected.)

Conan:  I'm sorry, Jesus.

Jesus: Hey, that's the guy who stole my scriptures!

(jesus runs away crying.)