Oh, Good... Donald Trump Plans to Build a Mosque Near Ground Zero

Recently in New York City, someone tried to build an Islamic center (replete with swimming pool) near the world trade center site.  As you can imagine, this sparked a lively debate between the families of 9/11 victims and free speech advocates. 

Luckily, Donald Trump stepped forward and offered to buy the site and construct his own center.  We've obtained some of his preliminary plans.  Make your reservations now.

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State-of-the-art slot machines that pay out thousands when you match up the collapse of both towers and the pentagon.


Official greeter: 9/11 mastermind Khalid Mohammed


9/11 raffle.  Each victim's name will be placed into the raffle.  The winner's family will be comped at the lunch buffet.