Trader Woes # 1

# 1.

"I can't believe I lost my tickets to Tony-Awarding winning musical Next to Normal!"

# 2.

"I shouldn't have turned down that dinner invitation from John Goodman. He looks terrific!"

# 3.

"Somali Pirates stole my meatball sandwich."

# 4.

"Sometimes it seems like the Goo Goo Dolls are never going to put out another album."

# 5.

"Why can't the Spiderman musical catch a break?"