Oh, Good... "Paul" The Octopus Will Make Our Decisions For Us

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People will often tell you that the problem with this new generation is an abundance of choice -- too many foods, careers, and partners that lead to a kind of baffled inertia.  Luckily, God gave us "Psychic Paul" to sort it all out.  

(Show photo on screen)

Who's Psychic Paul?  He's an octopus that is widely believed to accurately predict World Cup soccer matches.  How?  Well, Paul is lowered into a tank of water and allowed to search for food in two boxes -- each with the flag of the competing country affixed to it -- and whichever box Paul tumbles into first is his "prediction."

I know what you're thinking: Paul is amazing.  We agree, especially after realizing that Paul isn't relegated to choosing the winner of only soccer matches.

Check out a copy of Paul's itinerary for the upcoming weeks.


Used to Help Choose: Which man to marry 


Used to Help Choose: Which country to bomb


Used to Help Choose: Which parent to put in a home


Used to Help Choose: Which race to be prejudiced against


Used to Help Choose: Which is the one true faith