People will often tell you that the problem with this new generation is an abundance of choice -- too many foods, careers, and partners that lead to a kind of baffled inertia. Luckily, God gave us "Psychic Paul" to sort it all out.
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Who's Psychic Paul? He's an octopus that is widely believed to accurately predict World Cup soccer matches. How? Well, Paul is lowered into a tank of water and allowed to search for food in two boxes -- each with the flag of the competing country affixed to it -- and whichever box Paul tumbles into first is his "prediction."
I know what you're thinking: Paul is amazing. We agree, especially after realizing that Paul isn't relegated to choosing the winner of only soccer matches.
Check out a copy of Paul's itinerary for the upcoming weeks.
Used to Help Choose: Which man to marry
Used to Help Choose: Which country to bomb
Used to Help Choose: Which parent to put in a home
Used to Help Choose: Which race to be prejudiced against
Used to Help Choose: Which is the one true faith