Oh, Good... "Paul" The Octopus Will Make Our Decisions For Us

People will often tell you that the problem with this new generation is an abundance of choice -- too many foods, careers, and partners that lead to a kind of baffled inertia.  Luckily, God gave us "Psychic Paul" to sort it all out.  

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Who's Psychic Paul?  He's an octopus that is widely believed to accurately predict World Cup soccer matches.  How?  Well, Paul is lowered into a tank of water and allowed to search for food in two boxes -- each with the flag of the competing country affixed to it -- and whichever box Paul tumbles into first is his "prediction."

I know what you're thinking: Paul is amazing.  We agree, especially after realizing that Paul isn't relegated to choosing the winner of only soccer matches.

Check out a copy of Paul's itinerary for the upcoming weeks.

1. 



Used to Help Choose: Which man to marry 


2. 



Used to Help Choose: Which country to bomb



3.


Used to Help Choose: Which parent to put in a home


4. 



Used to Help Choose: Which race to be prejudiced against


5. 



Used to Help Choose: Which is the one true faith