Making Amends for Atrocities

In a move that lends credibility to almost every movie in which "The Man" is played by some old, white guy who smokes cigars and owns houses filled with priceless vases, the House of Representatives recently passed a resolution officially apologizing for slavery and the "Jim Crow" laws. There are no reparations, though.

Can you imagine how past atrocities could have been smoothed over with some old-fashioned contrition?  Our resident problem-solver Earl did. 
(Earl enters stage)

Conan: Hi, Earl.

Earl:  Conan.  The solution?  Greeting cards.

# 1.

# 2.

# 3.

# 4. 

Conan:  I don't think that will work. 

Earl:  Problem solved.