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Day # 21 - Mid-Season Replacements by Joe Piccirillo

Friday, January 21, 2011

After having embarked on this cross-country journey, I get a lot of questions, namely "Why are you taking this trip?" or "Why did you punch my father in the ribs?" I think the answer to both questions can be answered in two and a half words: mid-season replacements.

Each year, networks commission hilarious/gripping pilots from producers in an effort to plug up the hole between Swiffer Jet commercials and make a ton of money. Here's a preview of what to expect. Now you understand why I've abandoned you.

Harry's Law (from nbc.com): After hot-shot attorney Harry (Kathy Bates) is fired, she soon finds her balance at new offices in an abandoned shoe store just as legal hotshot Adam Branch (Nate Corddry) accidentally hits her while driving. Inspired by Harry's no-nonsense understanding of the law, Adam decides to take leave of his shiny corporate firm to go and work with her. Harry, along with the help of Harry's shoe-savant assistant, Jenna (Brittany Snow), are now ready for whatever walks in through the doors of their unique establishment - Harriet's Law and Fine Shoes.

Joe's Take: Memory is a tricky thing. I can't remember my first kiss or my first day of school, but I remember the first time I was hit in the groin. I was 8, and Gerald Walsh hit a line drive that nailed me right in the balls and threw me onto my back. I remember the sound of the wind whooshing through the trees at Bay Lea park as I gazed upon the stars wondering how far the light had traveled to reach me, and I remember thinking that nothing could ever be as painful. Then, 24 years later Harry's Law came out and made that experience into a fond memory.

Here are some examples of plots for upcoming episodes:

1. Episode # 5
Harry calls foul when a high school placekicker enters the shop to have his cleats cleaned.  After he realizes the store is really a law firm, he begs Harry to defend him from murder charges stemming from the death of the local high school referee who was rumored to have been accepting bribes.  Plus, Harry learns how to re-sole a shoe!

2.Episode # 11

In this Halloween-themed episode, Harry and her employees transform the shop into an 1880's version of itself replete with spittoons and a drifter dressed up as a blacksmith.  When a sudden stranger appears looking for his misplaced cowboy boots, secrets are revealed about Harry's lactose intolerance and the history of shoemaking from 1880's until present day.  Was the stranger a man in a costume or really a man from another time?  It doesn't matter because Harry contacts her friends at immigration and begins deportation hearings.  Yahoo! 

3. Episode # 16

Harry and the gang slash prices on all of their shoes!  (episode sponsored entirely by Payless Shoes)


4. Episode # 22

Trouble abounds as the district attorney's office moves in to an abandoned Hot Topic located across from the shoe store.  Will Harry be able to try all of her cases and still have the district attorney's shoes polished by the end of the week?  Find out on this season finale cliffhanger of Harry's Law

The Cape (from NBC.com): An honest cop is forced into hiding, leaving behind his wife Dana and son, Trip. Fueled by a desire to reunite with his family and to battle the criminal forces that have overtaken Palm City, Vince Faraday becomes "The Cape" - his son's favorite comic book superhero - and takes the law into his own hands.

Joe's Take: I would like to have been present during the brainstorming sessions in which Vince decided to don a cape and fight crime.  Is this really the best solution to his problems?  I can think of a dozen better solutions.  For example, why not check out Harry's shoe shop, pick up some crocs, and get some free legal advice.  Her no-nonsense approach to law should come in handy.

Biggest Loser: Couples Edition: This will be the show's fourth couples edition, as well as the introduction to a new shirt color and a man who is 507 pounds.

Joe's Take: Insert your own Kathy Bates joke here.  I'd do it myself but I'm too busy watching Harry's Law.


Behind the Scenes with Pete

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blog Post by Pete Jackson

For those of you who don’t know, Monday is the day that we officially leave the east coast and go inland toward middle America. The best part of having spent time on the east coast is that Joe and I both know people here. We’ve occasionally been able to spend time with family, eat home-cooked meals, sleep in nice beds and shower without having Hitchcockian fears. On Monday that all ends and motel-central begins.

One major concern is that we’re about to lose the occasional home-cooked meal. Some of you may laugh, but it’s my opinion that with a good home-cooked meal comes a heightened sense of security, familiarity and sanity.  It’s something that many of us take for granted and I’ll be the first to admit it. Inevitably, we’ll leave Joe’s sister’s house on Monday, end up at a 7-Eleven for dinner and we’ll each place an order for a processed turkey sandwich with a side of isolation.

One of the ways that we’re learning to deal with this type of change on the road is to come up with contests to boost morale.  Currently, the hottest contest in town is “the flash drive throwing contest.” There is a single flash drive that transfers data between our 3 computers and since we’re continually pushing data we throw a flash drive back and forth (sometimes great distances). As you’ve probably guessed, the whole point is not to drop the flash drive. Torio will be happy for you to know that I dropped it first (but it was an inside throw and I don’t use 2 hands like a wussinator).

“Exciting,” you say? “How can you get in on one of those contests,” you ask? Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. Maybe we’ll do a “best dinner contest” where you can submit your home-cooked meals to us via mail while we’re on the road and we’ll pick the best one at the end of the trip. We’ll even create an authentic, one-of-a-kind, COB Collector’s Pack for the winner. Prize info below…


Day # 19 -- Shameful Joy is Still Joy by Joe Piccirillo

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

People who are successful at one venture often believe they can be successful at all ventures -- think Michael Jordan's baseball career or Law & Order actor Ice T's rap career.  There is something universal about our desire to see these successful people fail.  In that vein, I've provided a never-before-seen list of people who have failed at ventures outside of their wheelhouse.  Enjoy the Schadenfreude.


# 1. Roberto Benigni

Successful: Filmmaker



Failed: gynecologist




# 2. Ben Franklin

Successful
: Inventor



Failed
: Surfer



# 3. Felicity Huffman

Successful
: Transvestite (in Transamerica)



Failed
: Real-Life Non-Tranny


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