June 2011

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First Comes Love, Then Comes Mediocre Marriage, Then Comes Pamela Haag

Thursday, June 2, 2011

People will often tell you that a good marriage comprises selflessness, compromise, and patience, but those people are probably embroiled in what marriage counselor Pamela Haag calls a "mediocre marriage." Her solution: Counseling? Date night? Nah, just rename the behavior of single people so that it sounds like a marital compromise.  It's all in the article on CNN.com entitled, Options for your Mediocre Marriage (full link below).

For example, she suggests struggling couples employ the following "stick-together" techniques:

1. Marital Sabbatical

Joe's Paraphrase: Abandon the marriage for 3 months (or until the rapture hits) while still retaining your eligibility for Wife Swap.

2. Divorce Cohabitation

Joe's Paraphrase: Enjoy the perks of divorce (e.g., crippling shame, depression) while maintaining a residence with the person whom you've fallen out of love.  Check out the new twist on "date night" -- you each go out on dates with other people.

3. Practice "new monogamy"

Joe's Take: Basically, sleep with whomever you wish -- it's an open marriage.  "Date night" can get even more complicated.

I think these are great ideas for turning your mediocre marriage into a spectacular divorce/suicide pact; however, I admire Dr. Haag's positive spin on such horrible ideas.  I would love to see her rebranding of other horrible things.  Luckily, she sent me a list.

Her suggestions are in parentheses:

1. Holocaust/ethnic cleansing (Laundry day)

2. Apartheid (Org chart)

3. Slavery (Unpaid internship)

4. Suicide (A "me" day)

5. Rape (Successful distributive negotiation)

That's pretty offensive, Pamela.

Full link here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/06/02/marriage.with.issues/index.html