I'm Too Sexy For These Meds

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Thursday, July 14, 2011
           (pictured above: "sexy senior"; fat broad)

Let's be honest: with the advent of the Internet, old people are no longer being used as a resource for their grandkids' book reports which reduces their role in the world to 1) saying hilariously off-color remarks in comedy movies and 2) walking slowly in front of everyone on the planet.  

This has been the arrangement worked out among me, the old people I stuff into toilets, and God.  Then, a video on CNN.com sullied the whole deal.  Apparently, a woman has started a fashion show for "sexy seniors" in which old people -- 77-86 years old -- strut their stuff on a catwalk that is apparently made from toilet paper (see photo above).  

There's a utility in that: if the old person passes, the organizers can simply wrap them up in the catwalk paper and toss them into the morgue.
Free Pants thinks this is a capital idea and has received still photos of the event that have not been broadcast.  Take a look. 

# 1. "Sexy Senior" Emma



Wearing: sexy blouse, black skirt
Perfect Outfit For:
1. Wandering aimlessly in the mall
2. Falling down for no reason

# 2.  "Sexy Senior" Angela



Wearing: See-through Hospital Nightie
Accessories: earrings, dialysis machine
Perfect outfit for: 

1. Meeting the mortician

 

# 3. "Sexy Senior" Walter



Wearing: Beautiful Navy Blue Suit (inside of coffin)
Perfect outfit for: Cremation
Date: 
Thursday, July 14, 2011