Day # 75 by Joe Piccirillo

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011

A while back, Donald Trump put in a bid to purchase the heavily disputed location near ground zero where someone dared to build an Islamic center (replete with swimming pool).  That was good news.  The better news is that according to the AP, Trump is reportedly mulling over a presidential run.  I, for one, think this is a capital idea and can't wait for him to fix America.  I received a copy of his preliminary plans.  Take a look.

1. Issue: Foreign policy

Trump Solution: Trump will deliver State of the Union addresses on set of Access Hollywood and call Gadhafi, Bin Laden, and Mubarak "total losers" and "pigs" just like Rosie O'Donnell.  Then, he will tear down the UN building and move all meetings to the Trump Plaza hotel and casino.  When diplomats from uncooperative countries arrive, he will "accidentally" put them in smoking rooms and downgrade them from kings to two double beds.  Plus, he will charge them for porn they never ordered.  When they eventually cave, Trump will call them "spineless" and take away their pool privileges. 

2. Issue: Education

Trump Solution: All children's names will be placed into a raffle.  The first 50 selected will be placed into charter schools and into a another raffle that could land them a jet ski.  The next 70 million chosen will work the grounds at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City.   The remaining 40 million will be allowed one pull at a penny slot machine and then deported.

3. Issue: Illegal Immigration

Trump Solution: Have all illegal immigrants compete for citizenship on his latest edition of The Apprentice.  The winner is allowed to stay in the country and become Trump's personal assistant.  Losers are told "you're fired" then placed into a taxi that takes them directly to his mansion where they will work on his landscaping.

4. Issue: National Debt

Trump Solution: Tell all government agencies and Americans to stop answering phone calls from China.  Then, have the country file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  Follow up with a book championing the successes of America.  Foreword by Trump.  Repeat as necessary.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011