Day # 70 by Joe Piccirillo New Movie Reviews

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Friday, March 11, 2011

Win Win -- 1 out of 7 Golden Slacks

Synopsis (from attorney Mike Flaherty (Giamatti), who moonlights as a high school wrestling coach, stumbles across a star athlete through some questionable business dealings while trying to support his family.

Joe's Take: Have you ever sat through a movie or bris and thought to yourself: "I think the outcome of this would be greatly enhanced with a wrestling match?"  If you said yes, then you should watch Win Win, then hurl yourself into a trash bin.  The film is a classic story of wrestling and a troubled kid who, through wrestling, learns deep values and confidence and better skills at wrestling.  Admittedly, I know nothing of the skills required for high school or college wrestling but the movie suggests that the kid is a phenom, like in The Natural, only instead of being blessed with the ability to hit knuckle balls or throw fastballs, he can pin down a guy for a really, really long time.  It's like my ability to kick dogs across lawns.  I was born with an innate talent.  Where are my scholarships?

Unexpected Scene: Paul Giamatti and the kid watch Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler and point out all of the technical inaccuracies.  Then, they wrestle.

The Lincoln Lawyer
-- -9,770,978 out of 7 Golden Slacks

Synopsis (from A lawyer conducts business from the back of his Lincoln town car while representing a high-profile client in Beverly Hills.

Joe's Take: Everyone knows that in Hollywood, the story from the initial pitch to the final product can often change.  I've received script/character changes for this movie.  Take a look:

Writer: I have a story about a plumber who loses everything in Katrina and lives in his car. He slowly rebuilds his community, goes to law school and now works to help the very people who ignored him in LA.  I have Edward James Olmos in mind.  Based on a true story, by the way.  Amazi --

Studio Exec: Katrina is 2005.  They didn't have iPads back then.  No one will relate. Also, we need a sexier actor

Writer: OK.  Recession.  2009.  Forces guy to live in his tiny car.  He goes to law school and then prosecutes the very people who put him there.

Studio Exec: Recession is depressing.  Will remind people they shouldn't spend money on the movie. Also, make it a classic car.  It's sexy.  No one wants to see someone hanging out in a Dodge.

Writer: OK. 

Studio Exec: Wait.  We have a project right now where Matthew McConaughey hangs out in the back of an old Lincoln. 

Writer: We could just make him a lawyer.

Studio Exec: Done.

Unexpected Scene: During a climatic scene where McConaughey is conducting shifty business in his car, he smartly takes it into a car wash and opens his enemy's window -- the enemy is clean but temporarily blinded.

-- 1 out of 7 Golden Slacks

Synopsis (from A writer discovers a top-secret drug which bestows him with super human abilities.

Joe's Take: I don't trust movies in which men endowed with super intelligence use that power to earn money.  I would use it to retake the SATs, apply to Ivy League Institutions and then turn them down.  Also, super intelligence can be a drag -- it would almost certainly ruin my enjoyment of the misunderstandings on According to Jim.  I don't want to solve Jim's problems; I want to see how he deals with them in a hilarious fashion.  Movies like this aren't logical.  Cooper gets mixed up in crime and greed.  If you were super-intelligent, you would make your millions and move away from friends, family, and Circus Circus.

Unexpected Scene: Cooper goes on Jeopardy and loses to Watson.  Then, the kid from Win Win shows up and wrestles them both.

Friday, March 11, 2011