Day # 54 by Joe Piccirillo

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 745.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter_boolean_operator.inc on line 149.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Oh good. Finally, people are using robots for their intended purpose: to terrify humans. According to the article, a Japansese company has created a robotic piggy bank that will "explode" if the owner deposits money infrequently.

"The battery-powered toy -- designed as a cartoon-style, ball-shaped black bomb with a skull and crossbones logo -- lights up, makes a noise, shakes violently and scatters coins if it is not topped up for a long time."

The guy on line ahead of me at Dunkin Donuts had the same reaction when the lady told him they were out of munchkins - maybe he's just imitating the Savings Bomb. For an additional $50, the robot will repeatedly whisper the phrase, "Your children won't be able to go to college," while you sleep.

"'Users must pick up and collect the scattered coins and reflect on their laziness,' the Japanese company said."

It's sort of amazing that the company has employed shame as its primary marketing tool; it must have spent years cataloguing those immutably sad conversations at the roller rink between me and my parents in which they covered their eyes and handed me pairs of pants. In America, we don't use shame - we sell products with catchy jingles, talking diapered babies, and fat husbands who can't seem to grasp the basic principles of financial planning, doorbell repair or gravity.

This makes me root for "The Savings Bomb" and some of its sister products listed below:

#1. Fridge Raider:
This fridge will dispose of its contents if it notices that you haven't eaten fruits or vegetables in one week. It will also invite your mother-in-law for a weekend visit if it recognizes more than one chinese takeout container. For an extra $50, the fridge will "dispose" of food by sending it directly to Kirstie Alley's house.

#2. Open House:
When placed in your crawl space, this device will send signals out to drifters and out-of-work musicians that your house is available for squatting if you don't regularly repair and clean it.

#3. Wonder Wall:
This will erect an actual brick wall around you. It is designed to mirror to the cold, emotional wall you've placed between you and your gay son.

The Savings Bomb costs $50 which begs the question: Is this purchase really part of a sound financial plan?

Date: 
Wednesday, February 23, 2011