Day # 45 by Joe Piccirillo

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  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 745.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 149.
Monday, February 14, 2011

I've mentioned this before but there must be something universal about our desire to die at the hands of self-aware robots.  Despite the prevalence of Terminator and Short Circuit movies, we humans strive to create a learning computer that will eventually destroy us.

While you were busy sending electronic whales to each other on Facebook for Valentine's Day, Watson was initiating his takeover of Earth.  What's Watson?  It's a supercomputer that challenged two human competitors in a game of Jeopardy! and despite a few technical glitches, proved smarter than his human counterparts.

And how did humanity respond to this disturbing omen?  According to, the studio audience cheered and applauded our eventual robotic master.  Alex Trebek had to gently remind the audience that the computer could not see or hear their applause; it could, however, laugh as it pulled out your spine and played it like a xylophone.  

I love Watson. And I'd love to see how it would fare in other TV shows.

1. Deal or No Deal

Watson becomes frustrated with the premise -- it renders his critical thinking skills useless -- and shoots lasers at the Deal or No Deal models.  Howie Mandel lives and comes up with a great sketch for a new version of Howie Do it in which Watson and Mandel remake the movie Twins.  Special appearance by Stephen Hawking as the cool bully who tries to keep Watson down!

2. Grey's Anatomy

After failing to get the microchip he needs to survive, Watson breaks the bad news to his new girlfriend. 

(Spoiler alert: Watson lied -- he doesn't need a new microchip; he just thinks he can do better than Sandra Oh.)

3. The Talk

Watson guest stars on the day-time chatfest and plans to impress the ladies with his infinite knowledge of quantum physics.  After the gals ignore his dire warning about Earth's imminent demise so they can debate the most absorbent tampon, a dejected Watson explodes killing himself and the entire panel.  World rejoices.

Special Valentine's Day Note
: People call Valentine's Day a scam but they always make plans for it -- even if it's "no plans."  Last year I was with my fiance, Pete was with his wife and child, and Torio was in space.  This year, we're in a hotel on Conway, AK.  After we arrived, we each took the rest of the night to sleep/settle in/call loved ones/watch hilarious episodes of Mike and Molly.  It's mid-February.  There's one month left.  I have to figure out the next step... In the meantime, enjoy your holiday.


Monday, February 14, 2011