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In an interview with UK's Harper's Bazaar magazine, part-time actress Gwyneth Paltrow said that Beyonce is "the most talented human being on the planet." I agree. To be sure, I pitted Beyonce's accomplishments against those of noted scholars.
1. Jonathan Franzen Vs. Beyonce
Jonathan Franzen wrote The Corrections
Beyonce wrote Booytlicious
Winner: Beyonce.
Reason: You can't dance to The Corrections.
2. Dr. Mark Kline, MD Vs. Beyonce
Dr. Kline implemented (in conjunction with UNICEF) the Pediatric AIDS Corps, which has single-handedly improved the expertise in HIV care in Africa by 500%.
Beyonce performed at a South African AIDS benefit show in November 2003 to combat the AIDS epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa.
Winner: Beyonce
Reason: people still have AIDS but Beyonce wore a glittery dress while singing "Crazy in Love."
3. Junot Diaz Vs. Beyonce
Junot Diaz was voted # 7 on the most Influential Pulitzer-Prize Winning Authors List by Time Magazine
Beyonce was voted # 1 on Vh1's 100 Hottest Hotties
Winner: Tie
Reason: Same playing field
4. Stephen Hawking Vs. Beyonce
Famous quote from Hawking: "The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”
Famous quote from Beyonce: "I'll show you crazy. Just try me, bitch!" -- from 2009's Obsessed.
Winner: Beyonce
Reason: Hawking's quote sounds a little forced.
So Gwenyth was right. Too bad Coldplay still sucks.