Day # 38 by Joe Piccirillo

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter_boolean_operator.inc on line 0.
Monday, February 7, 2011

In an interview with UK's Harper's Bazaar magazine, part-time actress Gwyneth Paltrow said that Beyonce is "the most talented human being on the planet."   I agree.  To be sure, I pitted Beyonce's accomplishments against those of noted scholars.

1. Jonathan Franzen Vs. Beyonce

Jonathan Franzen wrote The Corrections

Beyonce wrote Booytlicious

Winner: Beyonce. 

Reason: You can't dance to The Corrections.

 

2. Dr. Mark Kline, MD Vs. Beyonce

Dr. Kline implemented (in conjunction with UNICEF) the Pediatric AIDS Corps, which has single-handedly improved the expertise in HIV care in Africa by 500%.

Beyonce performed at a South African AIDS benefit show in November 2003 to combat the AIDS epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa.

Winner: Beyonce

Reason: people still have AIDS but Beyonce wore a glittery dress while singing "Crazy in Love."

 

3. Junot Diaz Vs. Beyonce

 Junot Diaz was voted # 7 on the most Influential Pulitzer-Prize Winning Authors List by Time Magazine

Beyonce was voted # 1 on Vh1's 100 Hottest Hotties

Winner: Tie

Reason: Same playing field

 

4. Stephen Hawking Vs. Beyonce

Famous quote from Hawking: "The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”

Famous quote from Beyonce: "I'll show you crazy.  Just try me, bitch!" -- from 2009's Obsessed.

Winner: Beyonce

Reason: Hawking's quote sounds a little forced.

 

So Gwenyth was right.  Too bad Coldplay still sucks.

 

Date: 
Monday, February 7, 2011