Day # 115 by Joe Piccirillo

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 745.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 589.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/content/14/14034314/html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 149.
Sunday, May 8, 2011

Have you ever used a public bench and thought to yourself: "This is too comfortable."  If so, then you should move to Philadelphia.  At SEPTA stations you'll find a bench specifically designed by the people at Veyko to be "resistant to damage and vandalism."  Below is a sample of the bench. 

Apparently the strategy for reducing vandalism and damage is to make a bench so uncomfortable, no one will actually use it.  Unfortunately, the city has contracted Veyko to give other public mainstays their "vandalism-proof" treatment.  I have a list of the proposed changes.  Take a look.


Costly institution: Public Park

Veyko Solution: Install Nooses.


Costly Institution: Public Drinking Fountain

Veyko Solution: Random boxing gloves to the groin.


Costly Institution: Public Pay Phone

Veyko Solution: Phone automatically dials Meryl Streep who talks about the craft of acting in between songs from the hit musical and motion picture Mamma Mia!


Costly Institution: Public Fire Department

Veyko Solution: Replace fire crew with the cast of Tyler Perry's House of Payne.  Even if people have legitimate fires, they will be hesitant to invite the clan into their homes.


Costly Institution: NPR

Veyko Solution: None.  It's too important to tear down. 

Just kidding.  The House of Representatives came up with the real solution: they voted to kill its federal funding.  Thanks anyway, Veyko.

Sunday, May 8, 2011