March 2011

  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 879.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/handlers/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_style_default::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/mjid3fbcfbud/public_html/modules/views/plugins/ on line 0.

Behind the Scenes with Pete

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It’s getting pretty close to the end. We’re going to be in LA next Thursday and that means that the moving production company is going to shut down pretty soon. It’s kind of sad to think that something that has been a way of life for a few months is going to dissolve in less than a week. But it’s probably good timing as everything that fuels the production is starting to deteriorate.

Here’s a rundown:

The laptop that supports the video production was dropped pretty hard and is not functioning to spec.

The hard drives that hold the projects are corrupting media making the editorial process an exercise in walking on eggshells.

One of the 3 production lights has blown and the remaining 2 are on their last bulbs (which are specialty bulbs and can only be ordered online).

Joe’s projector and screen have each taken a pretty good beating. Along with every show is a growing concern that the projector light is not going to work.

We blew out the car’s cigarette lighter by running too much power through it. Now we just hook up our components directly to the car battery.

The only pair of sunglasses that were brought on the trip and we all share while driving have broken twice (both arms broke off and have been taped back on like a pair of Poindexter glasses)

Our clothes are falling apart and the soles of our shoes are gone. Seriously.

To be honest, this crippled little outfit has been living like MacGyver for the past couple of weeks -- but in all honesty, it feels pretty good. There’s something exhilarating about figuring out how to make stuff work even though it’s technically broken. Just don’t ask me about the times in between when everything is falling apart.

Day # 66 by Joe Piccirillo

Monday, March 7, 2011

Hello everyone,

I receive a lot of email.  Most of it is spam from creditors looking for their money or worried children looking to make the drop-off for the safe return of their father, but I receive other emails, too.  Most of these are from fans.  They ask a lot of questions and since the tour is winding down I thought I would update the FAQs.  Enjoy.

Special note: I am writing this in a Starbucks in San Francisco. I am drinking something called "AWAKE" tea and I think it derives its name from the reaction one has after drinking what tastes like Chef Boyardee Meatballs in liquid form.  I am awake.  It's also Starbucks' 40th anniversary.  How do I know?  Some guy wearing a green hat constantly hovers around my table with a tray of specialty drinks and every time I look up, type a sentence or blink, the guy will start his spiel just like actors do in Broadway musicals replete with "jazz" hands. 

1. How is the trip going?

The trip is going well. Here's an idea: check the g**damn website.  I have friends -- some of whom I've seen through marriages, divorces, births, deaths -- who will say, "How is the trip?  I haven't checked the site yet."  I see these same people posting "You've been Rickrolled" and charlie sheen clips onto their facebook accounts.  Check out the site.  Then, die.

2. What happened to Torio  Is he still on the trip?

A: Torio is still with us in spirit, but he's working in Los Angeles for our homecoming.  We sent him to an episode of Conan to get the shirt on TV.  Also, he has cholera.  

3.  Do you ever film skits and not release them? What's an example?

A: All the time.  The amount of footage and edited videos we don't release after we've put them together inspires sadness in us and humanity.  I've listed skits we've shelved before but others include the following ideas:

A. A well-produced commercial for a hot dog vendor in New York City.

Reason we shelved it: It was stupid.

B. A skit where we hire "ugly" people to read lines from classic movies and see if the outcome remains the same.  For example, a fat guy reading Olivier Martinez's lines from Unfaithful.  Would a woman be as swept away? 


Reason we shelved it: Too depressing.  The scene with an Erin Brokovich re-do inspired Torio's most recent bout of depression.

C. Next abandoned skit: we chose a character-actor from the 1980's (below is a photo of his hilarious turn as the construction worker in City Slickers) and lobbied to procure him a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  We actually did get his name put in for consideration -- a panel votes on which actors are deemed "worthy" of the honor.  It also costs $25,000 -- I tried to whittle it down to $500 and free public service announcements for head lice by the actor, but negotiations broke down.  We have the audio tapes of these conversations.  I think I'd like them to be played in a constant loop at my funeral.

Reason we shelved it: We couldn't get him a star.  Although I do have another idea...

D. Promos: We shelved two of them.  One was my talking to kids while they pointed out the critical flaws of the trip.  The second one involved my waiting in line at a deli counter and the woman in front of me dropping dead.  Everyone rushes to help her and the guy behind the counter (who is unaware of the tragedy) asks for the next person in line.  After about two seconds, I step over the woman and order 2 pounds of ham.

Reason we shelved it: Kids -- I hate kids and who are they to point out flaws with me?  They can't drive or solve algebraic equations.  Deli -- thought I came off as a jerk already.  Why push it?

4.  Tell us a story that won't be on the site, in the book, or in the documentary.

A: While writing in a hotel lobby in Portland, I went into the kitchen to "steal" a mini doughnut.  I popped the doughnut into my mouth just as the receptionist walked into the kitchen and said, "What are you doing in here?"  I quickly choked down the doughnut, ran the faucet, and put a drop of water into the cup I was holding, "Getting water," I said.  it was an industrial sink.  I had powder all over my face.  She told me to stay out of the kitchen.  Next day: Kitchen was bolted shut.  I affected change.  Beat that, Obama.

5. What are you going to do after this?

A: I don't know.  I've become pretty arrogant.  I didn't choke creatively, I've won everyone over at almost every club I've been to, and I've solved creative and real-world problems quickly and easily.  I love to work and this is work; Pete and I log about 15 - 18 hours a day.  I hear Charlie Sheen is hiring.

6. Anything else?

A: Check the website.

Day # 63 by Joe Piccirillo

Friday, March 4, 2011

If you're like me, you've become bored with Charlie Sheen's antics and are looking for more substantive news.  Allow me to deliver the goods: Disney has recently hired iconic photographer Annie Liebovitz to "bring-to-life" their animated characters by hiring A-list actors to portray the roles.  For example, in the photo above, Alec Baldwin and Olivia Wilde were cast in roles from the film Snow White. 

Now other studios have contracted Liebovitz to work her magic on their fictional characters.  Liebovitz sent over some proofs.  Take a look:


1. Air Bud

Played by Kathy Griffin

2. E.T.

Played by Grey's Anatomy's Sandra Oh


3.  Beauty and the Beast

Played by Gabourey Sidibe

A moment with Torio (The Intern)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

We just sent Torio to Los Angeles (replete with Conan or Bust T-Shirt) to infiltrate a taping of Conan and get our shirt screen time.  He succeeded, which is good, but now he is prepping for our arrival in Los Angeles, which is bad -- we still want an intern on the road with us. 

For now, we’ve being using temporary interns in each city with mixed results – see below.

Day # 61 by Joe Piccirillo

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

if you know me pretty well, it's safe to say you haven't visited the site.  Let me fill you in: I'm taking a comedy tour.  The nature of the tour -- driving long hours, performing in what are essentially panic rooms, and sleeping at odd hours -- limits my access to the news/internet.  Every once in a while, I'll check in and discover what the nation has been occupied with while I'm telling jokes in a dungeon.  For a while, it was Mubarak, then it was Gadhafi, then protests in Wisconsin, and now it's Charlie Sheen. You're a fickle bunch, America.  

I won't go into the details of Sheen's Black Swan-like awakening except to express happiness at his latest job opportunity: twittering advertisements.  Apparently,, the company that employs celebrities like Heidi Montag to hock merchandise for companies, has just snagged Sheen in a deal for one million dollars.  Sheen has already begun.  

Take a look at a screen shot from his twitter account.  Winning, anyone?



Behind the Scenes with Pete

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Blog post and photos by Pete Jackson

My wife always gives me a hard time about my dream to move to Montana. There was a point in time when she rightly argued, “You’ve never been to Montana, so how could you possibly want to live there? “ Well darling, I’ve been here, and we’re moving.

We’ve been in Montana for a day and I was worried that I wouldn’t actually be able to see much of it due to our hectic driving schedule. Unfortunately, when we drove into the state it was the middle of the night so we couldn’t see anything. It was pitch black with no signs of life for miles. Occasionally you could sense that you were surrounded by magnificence but there was no way to be sure.

And then we got pulled over. It’s funny, you can drive for hundreds of miles in Montana without seeing signs of civilization, but small towns will pop out of nowhere and the speed limit will drop down to 35mph in an instant. Joe was driving and I was in the passenger seat with my laptop, 3 hard drives, 2 cameras mounted on the dash (not rolling, of course), and a DC converter that was powering it all (and was hooked up to the car battery via a makeshift wiring system). We looked like we were from Back to the Future. When the officer asked us why we were speeding, Joe responded sincerely, honestly. When he asked what we were doing we spoke frankly about our adventure and our travels. There were no excuses - we missed the speed change, it was late, and we were in between tour cities.

Our honesty was rewarded with a warning, and a “good luck” from one of the most unlikely of sources. “Good luck” from an officer of the law who had never met us before, but who actually seemed supportive of our cause. We continued on to our hotel and made friends with the employees who were also supportive. They allowed us to shoot part of our skit in their lobby and even granted us a very late checkout due to our production schedule.

So we left Montana this afternoon and drove through what I would argue is some of the most beautiful countryside we’ve seen up to this point. We stopped on the side of the highway to get pictures of the landscape and it wasn’t more than a few minutes before some passersby stopped to make sure we were all right. Not only is Montana as beautiful a place as I imagined, it’s also populated with good human beings.

So, today I attached the “Get Lost in Montana” bumper sticker to the CoB mobile and put a down payment on 150 acres in the Lewis and Clark national forest. 

Honey, pack your bags.

 -- Pete